Friday, April 6, 2012

Long time, no SEE?

Has it really been this long since I posted a blog? What a SHAME! Well folks, if you are still interested in my zombie opinion, then stay tuned!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated

Sister and I contributed to this, and now it is gona be at San Diego Comic-Con!!
Please please please repost this on your own blogs!!! Thanks!!


Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated Screening and Panel at Comic-Con

( Key Art: http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/5593/sdcc.png )


Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated ( http://www.notldr.com ) has proven itself to be one of the most experimental projects to hit the horror genre in recent memory. Taking the existing film, Night of the Living Dead (1968), gallery curator/ experimental animator, Mike Schneider, extended the invitation for anyone in the horror community to take scenes from this seminal work and respond to them through their art. As Schneider explains, 'We, as fans, accept the film as an absolute. Changes would be alienating and copying would be pointless. Instead, what we have done is what artists have always done.. responded to the world around us and offered others the chance to see it as we do.'




With nearly 150 artists and animators taking up the cause, thousands of pieces of art and segments of animation were created through media ranging from oil paintings to comic illustrations and digital animation to sock puppets. Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated forgoes the dubious comforts that a singular style may provide for the chance to showcase the wide spectrum of visual media. The resulting collection was then hung directly on top of the original film leaving the its audio track and story completely unmodified.




Since it first screened in September 2009, Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated has shown in venues including film festivals, theaters, colleges, cinema bars, museums, horror conventions, and even in virtual spaces like the Facebook Comic-Con and in the Phantasmagoria Theater (a virtual movie theater build within the MMORPG, Second Life). Perhaps most notably, Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated has quickly become a favorite amongst TV and web based horror hosts with many of them presenting it to their local audiences via streaming and public access shows. As the project finally nears its long awaited DVD release ( http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003GUGB8G ), Neoflux Productions is pleased to announce Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated will be screening this year at San Diego Comic-Con ( http://www.comic-con.org/cci/ ).




Join a panel of contributing artists as they screen Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated on Thursday July 22nd at 9:30pm in Room 5AB at Comic-Con. Directly following the screening, the contributing artists will hold a panel discussion covering their varied media and involvement in NOTLD:R. They will also be taking questions and signing autographs. Confirmed panelists include : John Chesnut and Josh Barnett ( claymation and cut-out animation), Jacquelyn Bond ( watercolor paintings ), Grant Fuhst (mixed-media artwork ), Sean Williams ( hand drawn animation ), Zina Lahr ( toy modification/ experimental animation ), Brad Uyeda ( stop-motion animation ), Anthony Amos ( digital animation ), and Eric Schock ( comic book illustration ).




What Comic-Con event would be complete without swag to giveaway?

The giveaways at the screening/ panel include:

- Pre-Release Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated DVD's by Wild Eye Releasing ( http://www.wildeyereleasing.com )**

- DVD's of Monster Madhouse presents NOTLD:R ( http://www.monstermadhouse.com )

- DVD's of Friday Night - Fright Night presents NOTLD:R ( http://www.fridaynight-frightnight.com )

- DVD's of World of Weird Monster Show presents NOTLD:R ( http://wowmonstershow.com/ )

- LTD Edition NOTLD:R Teaser Poster 1 ( http://notldr.com/teaser1.png )

- LTD Edition NOTLD:R Teaser Poster 2 ( http://notldr.com/teaser2v13.png )

- LTD Edition NOTLD:R DVD Poster ( http://files.dvdnote.com/images/300dpi/MVD5015D.jpg )

- Special Edition (SDCC Exclusive Cover) Comic: 'Sick as a Dog' Mike Schneider/ Terry Callen

- Buttons, Pins, Keychains, and other NOTLD:R materials provided by contributing artists




Please note, many of these giveaways are in strict limited editions so get there early and stay alert as they will be given away throughout the event. So remember, the Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated Screening and Panel is Thursday, July 22nd at 9:30pm in Room 5AB at San Diego Comic-Con.




----------------------------------------------------




**Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003GUGB8G

Produced by Neoflux Productions

Released by Wild Eye Releasing

Release Date: 7/27/2010




Night of the Living Dead: Reanimated is a collaborative artistic mash-up of George Romero's cult classic. Nearly 150 International artists and animators chose their favorite scenes and re-envisioned them through their own artwork, with no restrictions on style, media or process - resulting in an eclectic 'art show' interpretation of the seminal 1968 film, all placed over the original's audio. With work ranging from oil paintings to comic illustrations and sock puppets to CGI and stop-motion - NOTLD:R not only pays the respect due to this most important work in horror history, but encourages viewers to experience the film in a brand new light that bursts with the humor and horror of a new generation of artists. Art is dead...yeah, it's all messed up.




DVD Special Features:

- DVD Cover Art by Mike Schneider

- DVD Label - Functioning Phenakistoscope ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phenakistoscope )

Layout: Mike Schneider Animation: Calum MacAskill

- Liner Notes by Peter Gutierrez ( Rue Morgue )

- DVD Hosted by Legendary Horror Host, Count Gore De Vol ( http://www.countgore.com )

- Commentary 1: With Guests Peter Gutierrez and Stoker Award winning author, Jonathan Maberry ( http://jonathanmaberry.com/ ) ( Patient Zero; Zombie CSU; Marvel Zombies Return )

- Commentary 2: With Guest Corpse S. Chris ( http://www.horrorhostgraveyard.com )

- Documentary about the various PD releases of Night of the Living Dead entitled 'Boxart of the Dead' by Rob Hauschild

- Surreal Animated Short, 'Silo' by Anthony Amos

- Zombie Cartoon, ' Ape of the Dead' by Andres Silva

- Pacman Parody, ' Night of the Gaming Dead' by Voodoo Velvet

- Demonstrated Animation Processes by Calum MacAskill, Mike Boas, and Ryan Sigg

- Zombie Encounter Panel with horror authors including Jonathan Maberry and Dr. Kim Paffenroth ( Gospel of the Living Dead )

- Artist Slide Gallery

- Call-In Messages from 28 of the Contributing NOTLD:R Artists

- Select Uncut Scenes

- Short Horror Comics (by NOTLD:R artists)

- and more...




----------------------------------------------------




Contact press@notldr.com for interview, questions, or review copies.

Contact robjh@wildeyereleasing.com to inquire about the NOTLD:R DVD.

Contact screenings@notldr.com to setup a screening near you.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Centipedes, Glory Holes and Ugly Stories

SO no post for May huh? Boy am I getting lazy! Actually I think it was because I did not come across anything worth posting about. I am not trying to be cynical or anything. Trust me, when I am you WILL know it! I am just not finding a lot that is good and zomblie related!

However, there are a few things out there that are good and just plain weird! Take for example the new “Gonzo” style book put out by the miserable author whom I tore a new a-hole on my last post. Stand back folks… I am not sure how big this book will get. I was surprised after my reaming of his ‘diary’ book that he contacted me about test reading this one. I assumed that he must be some sorta glutton for punishment. But, you are probably NOT gona believe me when you read this, but… ahem… I liked it just fine!

The story is called “The Apocalypse and Satan’s Glory Hole”. Yes, you read that correctly. It is actually a collaboration between both Zombie Wilson’s turd of a writer Timothy Long (smooches Tim) and a fellow named Jonathan Moon. It follows the coming Apocalypse and all its “glory”. Seeing as how it is impossible to describe the story without getting a nosebleed I will just do the deplorable thing and cut and past the description from Amazon:

“Armageddon arrived on a weekday, which was really inconvenient for a lot of people, including The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. After their appearance on The Kayla Mangrabler talk show, they decided to go their separate ways and cause as much havoc as possible.
Jesus has been stuck at the craps table for three days, sipping vodka and Red Bull, completely missing the end of the world. But he is about to meet up with Death and go on a road trip that will test their resolve and their blood alcohol content.
Meanwhile, an unlikely band of heroes are headed to Las Vegas to fight the Apocalypse. Creepy Chuzz and his one-armed, addict monkey Phil are flying there in an ice cream truck. Chuzz's best friend Leon plans to lend a hand, assuming he can escape the clutches of the insane Father Maniwhore not to mention Pestilence, who has designs on the janitor's bathtub-LSD-addled brain.
Along the way they will encounter bouncing glory hole boxes, militant lesbians, an undead general, a flying demon named Princess Sally, hordes of zombies, and a trio of secret agents hellbent on delivering a Cease and Desist order to Lucifer himself.
They'd better hurry, because the Devil is rising in the desert, and he is hungry to start the Apocalypse that his son could not. But only if he can get it on with his giant floating glory hole.”

See what I mean? This book is surprisingly enjoyable. I have not read the final copy but I am trusting they fixed a few of the mistakes from the test-run that I read so I can’t say for sure if the editing is up to snuff, but hey with a story like this I would think a few mistakes would be on the plus side! WTG boys, you have managed to make my brain bleed with your nonsense!

Then there was the insanely out of the way movie sis and I watched last weekend called “The Human Centipede”. WTF? Go on, look it up. I don’t think I can even begin to describe this film. I will say that the subject matter was handled very well and that they were tasteful in what they did show. Overall, the movie was actually quite good. A little slow, and very very depressing. Like watching Quills, Requiem for a Dream and Dancer in the Dark all back to back! And considering we watched it in between playing a horror survival game- well it was quite the Sat night!

Then there is the nightmare of a book that I cannot bring myself to finish. I don’t do that you know, I try my best to finish books. I feel like I have invested the time and I need to bring myself to read the whole thing in order to complain competently about the material. But, I have hit a wall. And I cannot finish this abomination of a story. “Dead: The Ugly Beginning” is the worst book I think I have read in a looooooooong time. First off, the author has seen fit to flip flop from first person to third person and back to first, no wait, third no wait… ARRRGH! The there is the lack of any real threat. I mean sure the zombies are there, but I am not motivated to be the least bit afraid of them. Time after time all the characters have to do is just blow the heads away or use a sword? Have you ever tried to us a sword? Neither have I but I am pretty sure I just can’t pick one up and start knocking off heads with it!
The zombies are always described as “the thing who was once blah blah blah”. That got old after the second description. And if I read one more thing about the smell… whoopty freakin doo, they all smell bad. Does everyone in the book have to puke? I am hoping that the smell is coming from the INFECTION and not from DECOMPOSITION, because that would mean someone did very little research for his opus.

I am convinced that he did not do any research at all.

I got to the bit about Wal-Mart. See what I did there? Big W, squiggly, BIG M!! If you are gona use a small M you leave the squiggly out. Ok maybe I am just splitting hairs, but when you make ugly comments about the unnecessary size of our bay doors and call the backroom a “warehouse” then you can expect me to be a bit cranky!! Newsflash folks: Wal-Mart does NOT have an ENTIRE store located in their backrooms. We barely have enough room to cram the overstock that we have now, but that overstock isn’t a 10th of what is on the floor. And the characters must have been just stooopid. I mean absolutely STOOOPID to spend time “tearing down” the bay doors with an axe instead of just popping off the lock and pulling them up like a sensible person!

Then there is the character who was a fat-assed cow, then lost weight and became so grateful for compliments she became a redonkculous WHORE. Yes, you read that right. Look, I know that some folks, well MOST folks don’t see Big as beautiful. And that is just fine, you are missing out on a wonderful group of fine folks, but that is your digs. However, I am SICK to death of reading about fatties who either literally throw their weight around (I’m lookin at you Long and Moon!) or who do the shit in this pathetic excuse for a zombie book and put out because someone half-assed a compliment in their direction! I swear to you I wanted to puke when I read the passage: “She drove home with the unfamiliar feeling of semen running down her thigh.” WTF??? Okay I am 300 + pounds and I have seen more than one penis in my time. And you know what? I don’t have to BEG for sex. Even when I wasn’t married, I didn’t have to wait for someone to come along and give me the occasional pity-fuck. I know that not all big girls are confident and own their sexuality, but just ONCE I would love to see someone who is NOT a large person write a story about a large man or woman who is happy with who they are and can get laid without debasing themselves to do it.

Granted, it was a very very small story in an otherwise laughable plot. The dude even mentions exactly what I was thinking: The Stand with zombies. YAWN! If I wanted to read The Stand, I would read it. I have a feeling that this writer considers himself on the same page as Mr. King. WRONG! You are not fit to lick his balls, much less compare your idiotic ramblings to his superior writing. And he claims there are gona be at least 5 books in this series? Well there’s 5 books I won’t be reading!

Bottom line: Give up writing and go work at Wal-Mart… you might learn something.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I must be a DICK!

Okay, so I haven’t posted a blog in the entire month of March? WTF eh? All is well, just got a bit sidetracked and didn’t really find anything that interesting to bitch about. Till now…
My sister fopped a book on me a few weeks ago, gushing about how wonderfully funny it was. She guaranteed I would be LOL’ing at work, which is where I do a majority of my reading. Only one problem. I didn’t find it funny, in fact I think it is safe to say I didn’t like the book much at all.

The story in question is “The Zombie Wilson Diaries”. The concept is that a dude washes up on a deserted island after a plane crash only to find himself in the company of another survivor who has become a zombie. He then ties her to a tree and proceeds to talk to her ala Tom Hank’s style from the movie Castaway. Sounds pretty good eh? Well, though the idea is novel, the notion gets OLD. I mean really OLD really quick! If he would have spent time actually TALKING to her that would have been one thing. But most of the book is spent lamenting about how she is no longer “hot” and how her tits are shriveling or the things he has to do to keep her rotting body clean.

The most annoying thing is how the book is presented. It is written “diary “style. And not even really that well. The first person descriptions go from a surreal past/present/past tense that I think is supposed to give the impression that our survivor does not know how to write at all. However, all it left me with was page flipping and head scratching. Did you put the dress on her or not? Why is she naked now? It makes me think that a man who can write very well was trying to write like someone who never writes at all. It came off stilted and hard to follow.

Then there is the FONT! It is printed in what I think may be Comic Sans Font. The idea was that it would be cute because it is supposed to be a diary right? This may be a novelty to some, but for those of us with any sort of vision problems, it quickly became a headache! I found myself having to put the book down every 20 minutes or so just to refocus my eyes before I picked it back up again and tried desperately to plow through the story to get to the ridiculous ending.

I HATED the main character. And since he was the ONLY character alive in the (majority) of the story it was hard to like what was happening. There was NO character development. He was on the damned island for over a month and from start to finish he remains an immature, superficial, shallow, juvenile TURD. He laments about having to work for a living then goes on about his office. HIS OFFICE? Um, no… try slinging freight at Wallyworld before you bitch about your shitty job. You start the story off on a tropical island vacationing at your company’s expense and you want me to feel sorry for you? OMG, you get jealous over a dude flashing cash and showing off his trophy wife when you would rather buy a playstation then bring your own GF on holiday with you? WTF!!??

I am trying hard not to be mean. I really love zombie stories, hence the name of the blog. But I think throwing zombies into any sort of situation does NOT make a good book. If this had been written a little more objectively, and with a little more background and forethought it may have been a much better read. As it stands, I hated it. And since everyone, and I mean EVERYONE on the Library of the Living Dead forum thinks it is a magnificent work of art, I MUST be a DICK! Sorry sis… your twin sister is a DICK…

Sunday, February 28, 2010

I wana BE a Ghostbuster!

Warning: Don’t like Spoilers? Don’t read this then!!

Okay, so this is turning out to be a once in a while thing and that is totally fine with me. Not really enough time in the world I suppose, and there are other better blogs to read out there. So what have I been up to over the past month? Well let’s see…
I recently read and watched Shutter Island. Leme tell yah folks that was some good shit! Leonardo DeCaprio has never been big with me, but he did a helluva job. Oh I got the book Drood. Very very very long… still reading it, so we shall see about that one. Saw the movie Legion. Meh… wasn’t what I expected. A little too close to The Prophecy only without the benefit of Christopher Walken. I mean the dude that played Gabriel was pretty awesome, but still… meh… OH but wait, there was Wolfman!
Wolfman is my fave Universal Classic monster folks, my fave movie out of the bunch being House of Frankenstein. So you could imagine what I did when I found out that they were remaking it with no less than Anthony Hopkins, Benicio Del Toro AND Hugo Weaving. Yum Yum! I know I bitch about fanboys who watch movies because of certain actors, but there is a time and a place for everything kids and the time for Me to SEE that movie was OPENING WEEKEND! You will NOT be disappointed. It was truly a blast! The thing I appreciated the most was that the actors DID thier own wolf makeup. And the wolf getup is just, well just aswome.
Bought a copy of Zombieland! HA HA! Gawd what a great film! While my husband and I watched the movie with the commentary we came to learn that the filmmakers are not all that “into” Zombies. And I cannot help but wonder if that is what makes the movie so unique. It definitely stands out in the genre and has a life of its own. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that it started life out as a TV show pilot. CBS opted OUT of making it. Thank you boys!
But I will tell you something, when we went and saw it at the theatre I thought I was gona pee when Bill Murray showed up. You folks have got to understand, if Zomblies didn’t take up most of my love in the line of cinema material, then the one movie I would probably obsess over (more than I do already) would be Ghostbusters!!
I sooo wana BE a Ghostbuster! I have been perusing certain fan sites, looking at different homemade uniforms and such. Boy, those folks really have their shit together. Sister and I have been tossing around the idea of doing a Sontaran outfit for nerd conventions. You know, cause we’re short and look alike… tee hee… but if I had my way I would totally BE a Ghostbuster! I have an Orc outfit I wear to Renfaire every year, and that is loads of fun. It was also a lot of hard work to make so I figure making something as specific as a Ghostbusters outfit wouldn’t be too hard? We shall see yes? If I get around to doing it, I will certainly keep you all posted!

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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Fucking Delicious!!!

Okay, I have to point out a game that I have been hooked on playing over and over and over again! House of the Dead: Overkill is exactly what it sounds like! It is an awesome addition to an already awesome franchise. I LOVE rail games! I love the idea of not having to move around and just shoot shoot shoot and that is all there is in this game. Unlike the Res Evil games you don’t even get to play with the scenery that much, but with the way the zomblies heads explode, you wont worry about that at all!
Oh and then there is the smack talk! If you listen to Twinsanity at all you will know that sister and I have pretty dirty mouths. This game puts all our filth to SHAME! And I LOVE IT!! I am soo trying not to do reviews of stuff. There are so many sites out there that do that better, as I have said before. However, this game is like sooo totally kewl, sooo monstrously awesome that I HAD to let folks know about it!
OMG! I haven’t even began to talk about the music! Jesus, I sound like a girl, squealing about this shit but leme tell you, the music is totally BOSS!! Okay, so that’s it. House of the Dead: Overkill. Go out and buy it. Don’t just rent it cause you are gona wana have it to play whenever you get the urge to slaughter some zombie scum! And I seem to get that urge A LOT!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

No Magic For Wong!!

Recently I watched the movie called Pontypool. It left me with the same feeling that most Zombie flicks do: a heightened sense of wonder. I immediately pressed it onto my sister and her hubby. She loves Zed films as much as I (almost); he on the other hand, can take or leave it. So I was extra thrilled when he said that it was pretty kewl. I am stressing now that you must watch this flim! Yes I realize I said FLIM… that happens on occasion, or maybe I am trying to keep you from understanding me. You will sooo get that after watching the movie.

Anyways, this is not a review. I swore that I would try like hell to keep from doing a lot of that. There are plen-T of wonderful blogs on the nets that have reviews far greater than anything I could pull outta my ass! This is a lament, because after being affected so greatly by the movie- I got the book.

Le-sigh…

Let me see what words I can use to describe the thought process I went under from cover to cover.

Excited. I figured if the book was as good as the movie I was in for a ride!

Surprised. After just the first few chapters I could tell that this was a different animal entirely.

Amused. I began to wonder what kind of movie it would have been if they had stuck with the book.

Suspicious. This book is taking a surreal turn.

Confused. Wha? Ok, I am still trying to keep up.

Disoriented. Who are you? What is this book I am reading?

Annoyed. Oh now you are just trying to shock folks.

Desperate. Is this story not gona end?

Incensed. You call THAT an ENDING??!!!

My brother-in-law once read a comic book so bad that he threw it out the car window and repeatedly drove over it. I have, on occasion, wanted to do the same to several books I have read. For example, ANYTHING Charlaine Harris has ever written does that to me. This book was not that bad, it had some pretty good zomblie things going on, but for a second- just a brief second I nearly threw it to the ground and said “Take THAT Higher Power!” Ok, you will understand that once you have read the book. I am assuming you will read it, I am not telling you not to. I need someone to read it to take the edge off. I need someone else to read it and say “No Evil, you are not crazy… this book makes little sense.”

Well I did need that… until I read the Afterward.

The author (I shit you not) actually APOLOGIZES to the reader. He goes on to explain why the movie he wrote was soooo different. And then he goes into this: “And so, now that I have been asked to write this afterword, I realize it has to be an apology, not for the book, which can't be helped, but for the fact that I was unfaithful to its first virtue: I have asked you to read it, and now, sitting here at the end, I am telling you that it might be a mistake that you did" (278). Genius, fucking genius. He MADE me LIKE what I just read. He made me FEEL like some insider, having read something that he “never intended” for folks to actually read! I am a sucker for this sorta thing. Now I can look at folks with disdain and say “YOU. You have NEVER read Pontypool Changes Everything?”

God Love you Tony Burgess… and yet Damn you in the same breath!



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